Life Of Jason

This is Dale King.

He was my grandfather and the most influential person in my life.  He worked for National Gypsum in a coal mine his entire working life.  He once told my mom and dad that he was sad he would never make it to see me graduate high school because the life of a miner was not easy.

But that’s him along with my other grandparents Cy and Lyndall Wert.  He also lived to see my college graduation as well.

Now, you notice that Grandma King isn’t in that photo.  Here’s Grandma King (along with Grandpap, Mom and a 1 year old me):

She suffered a stroke when I was a just teenager and passed when I was a junior in high school.  I’ll talk about her more a little further down the blog.

One of the regrets in my life is that Grandpap didn’t live long enough to meet the grandson that I told him would bear his name.  I promised that to Grandpap when was around 15 and I tell Dale all the time about Great Grandpap Dale.

I really wish that the meeting of Dale and Dale didn’t have to be like that was in a chilly January 2002 but Grandpap went to be with Jesus in September 1995 on one of the two darkest days of my life.

When I was in junior high, my grandma suffered a stroke that left her debilitated and he spent the following years taking care of Grandma’s every need.  I can’t imagine being in the situation he faced every day taking care of the woman he loved and having to see her in that condition.  Grandpap never left her side and even when it reached the point he couldn’t care for her a few months before she passed he still visited her at the nursing home every day.

Grandpap, though, did more than just take care of Grandma and show total devotion to her even in the hardest of times.  Grandpap loved his family and his grandchildren so much that he would sacrifice what little time he had left after taking care of grandma to serve his family and grandchildren.

My favorite story about Grandpap and the way he loved his grandson has to do with cable TV in the early 80s.  When MTV was new, not many cable channels carried it 24 hours a day.  In Coleville, Pennsylvania, the cable system would put MTV on at 11pm after one of the local stations went off the air.  Yours truly was in love with 80s heavy metal and hair metal and because we didn’t have cable TV at my house would go to Grandpap’s to watch MTV almost every weekend.

I remember those nights where I’d sit on the floor and he would bring me Italian bread with grape jelly and I’d sit in a big, fuzzy, yellow and black beanbag on the floor just devouring every minute of the Headbanger’s Ball and any other video that came on the channel.  (MTV played videos way back then.)

Grandpap had an orange La-Z-Boy recliner that sat against the back wall and he would sit in that chair and at the time, I thought, he watched the videos.  I know now that he was watching his grandson enjoying the videos even if he didn’t like the music, didn’t like the lyrics and didn’t appreciate the images.  He loved his grandson so much that he sacrificed what little sleep he was able to get while taking care of grandma to sit and watch his grandson watch videos.

I remember looking back many nights and seeing Grandpap in that orange chair asleep with a picture of the Last Supper hanging over his head.

Yes, the same Last Supper photo that survived my apartment fire in 2005 and now hangs in the living room over the couch when my kids turn around and watch Daddy watching them enjoy Spongebob Squarepants, Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends and The Secret Show.  (Although I have to admit enjoying those cartoons as much as enjoying their enjoyment.)

Grandpap loved his wife and loved his family.  He was always there for Grandma when the times were tough along with the good times.  He always had sound, common sense advice for his wild child grandson and never once condemned him even if he had a problem with the things his grandson did.  He modeled what it really meant to live as a Christian without speaking a word to me that he was doing it.

He is the kind of man that someday I hope I can be.

It’s with that in mind that I wrote my vows for Saturday.  (Amy’s so busy that I know she won’t have time to sit down and read the blog…and if she did…she would see a very long post and just ask me later what it said instead of reading it.)

Here’s my vow to Amy:

When I was a teenager my Grandma King had a stroke. I remember watching my Grandpap Dale taking care of grandma and all of her needs. It wasn’t easy and there were many times I remember wondering how Grandpap had the kind of patience and strength and endurance that he had in helping her. I wondered why he was so willing to give up so much of himself to take care of her. His devotion was unending. Yet through all of it, Grandpap still had time for his grandson and his needs and showing interest in the things that he found interesting including watching heavy metal on MTV at two in the morning.

Grandpap gave and gave of himself and even though I didn’t know it at the time, Grandpap was modeling for me the way a Man of God is devoted to his wife and to his family.

Amy, I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to say dumb things that hurt you and I’m going to not hear you asking me to take out the trash when the race is on. I’m not going to be perfect. But I will promise you this…for the rest of our lives I’m going to dedicate myself to being the Man of God that my grandpap was for grandma. I’m going to be there in the hardest of hard times and I’m going to be there when the storm cloud roll away and we walk in the sun. I’m going to model for Dale and Eli the way a man is to show love to his wife and his family. I’m going to be the kind of man that when Julie calls home and says she just said yes to marry a guy who’s “just like dad” that neither one of us are going to have any fear at all about who that man will be.

Amy Marie Nuetzhorn, I thank God that He brought you into my life. I thank God that He has blessed me with you as my wife. And I will be your Man of God and your husband for as long as God lets us live on this Earth.

Yeah, it’s a lofty goal.  I think it’s one worth chasing after and I don’t think it’s a bad thing for any man to aspire toward it.  My Grandpap Dale King did it.  Someday, I hope I can be said to have done the same thing.