Today is a hard day for me.
Today would have been the 12th wedding anniversary of me and my first wife. Instead, it’s the third anniversary date after the divorce.
It’s not that I’m feeling badly because of the divorce or the marriage situation. I’ve made my peace with it, I have a beautiful fiancee and there are a lot of real blessings lined up in the near future including a new home.
The part that gets me is my kids not being here. Today is just a reminder that my kids aren’t living with me on a daily basis and it’s a pain that just doesn’t go away. To be honest, it’s not as harsh as it was initially because this isn’t the first time it’s happened but the silence of the house is overwhelming today. It’s not like it’s not something that bothers me on a daily basis…there’s just something different about today. Maybe it’s because I’m two days away from Christmas as well and the boys won’t be here until lunch time on Christmas day.
It’s also hard because my autistic son really won’t talk on the phone. I know I’ll be able to talk to Dale every day (and I live for those calls) but it’s so hard not to be able to have a conversation with Eli. I just want to hear about Eli’s day just like I do Dale’s day but he can’t tell me about it.
Those of you with kids…give them an extra hug today. If they’re getting on your nerves begging for Christmas gifts…give ‘em one a day early. I wish I could be doing that today.
Hang in there. I often miss my step daughter. Worse still, while the ex is on holiday vacation I’m taking care of his and his girlfriend’s cats. I can’t tell you how difficult it is to go into my “former” home every day as a “guest.”