Life Of Jason

It’s an interesting night.

Tomorrow…or to be more accurate since it’s 1 AM Friday later today…God is closing a chapter of my life that’s lasted for twenty years. After one o’clock tomorrow afternoon, I won’t be “that guy on the radio” for the first time since August 1987. I’ll still have my fingers around the business in a new job doing tech support for a company that makes software to automate radio stations, weather forecasts and commercial scheduling. I’m actually very excited about the new job and I think there is a tremendous amount of opportunity there.  God has really blessed me. Still, twenty years of my life are coming to a close tomorrow for all real intents and purposes. It’s not something I’ve had to really face before and I’m not quite sure how to take it.

I started at WSHP radio in Shippensburg, Pennsylvania in August 1987 playing the Beatles’ “Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da” in the late afternoon after high school. I had wanted to be on the radio ever since I was a child. My late grandfather Dale King had a recording of me as a three year old child doing play by play for a Pittsburgh Steelers football game that was on the television. I felt like being on the radio was the thing I had been born to do. I had big dreams and places I wanted to go. I didn’t want to be the next Howard Stern or Greaseman but I wanted to attain that level of stature where people would look at me when it was all over and say “man, this guy was good and a good guy.” (Although I did want to end up the play by play guy for the Philadelphia Phillies.)

It’s been a long, strange twenty years. I’ve been married and divorced. I’ve been blessed with two wonderful children. I’ve had most of my belongings destroyed in a fire. I’ve lost jobs, found new ones and tried a number of hobbies that never really panned out. I’ve beaten an addiction, I’ve chosen to follow Christ and I’ve lived in six different states. Now, I find myself after two years of some of the hardest struggles I’ve faced in life with a wonderful new job, a fiancee whom I love with all my heart and a little girl who has started to call me “daddy.” After the long, dark tea-time of the soul I’m starting to see some good things on the horizon and I feel very blessed by God. Still, I am at the conclusion of a twenty year phase of life that was going on through everything I’ve just mentioned and I really don’t know how quite to process everything I’m thinking and feeling.

I’ve been trying to put into words in my own mind what I’m feeling so I can explain it to people. The closest thing I can mentally picture is a guy standing on the summit of a mountain looking at the path he’s climbed and the path that’s ahead of him. You look back and you see all the things you’ve gone through and you look forward to see the challenges that await you. You’re happy for the fact you get to continue but you also have some sadness as you look back at the road that brought you to this place. You also know all the things you had to do to get that point were preparing you for the road ahead and the challenges you will face so that hopefully the next path will be easier than the last one.

I’m also having the requisite running of the memories. I think of guys that I really learned from like Bill Lee at KKOR in Gallup, New Mexico, Rich Anderson at WAYK in Kalamazoo, Michigan & Brett Gibson and Dave St. John at WNCB (now Refuge Radio) in Duluth, Minnesota. (On a side note, I’m not going to mention any Springfield people I’ve worked with in this posting because I know I’ll forget someone and they’ll get upset. I would hope the people I know and respect know I feel that way about them.) I think of the days starting out when I would host the “Heavy Metal Happy Hour” on WSYC at Shippensburg University and the night we pretended to be dropping kittens off the roof of the student union. I think of the concerts, the parties, the public appearances, the sporting events. I think back to calling play by play for Little League baseball, high school sports and even a few college football games. I think of the charity events where we raised thousands to help children and others in need. I think of some really great people who cared about their communities and making life better for others. I was fortunate to meet many pastors and youth pastors who were genuine in their faith and didn’t pay lip service to it.

I also think of the people I’ve dealt with in radio who were literally and figuratively criminals. I think of the time I was suspended for two days without pay because the program director of that same station wanted to cover up for his brother being caught violating station rules. I remember the time I walked in early one morning to find the married-but-not-to-each-other morning show co-hosts in a passionate embrace. I will never forget the time I went three months without drawing a paycheck because the station couldn’t afford payroll and then discovering the CEO of the company who owned the station was spending hundreds for weekends at the spa. I’ve met some of the biggest scum of the earth where you would want to shower after just being around them for any length of time. I met the pastors and youth leaders more interested in attendance counts and offering amounts than people.

I have many memories that stand out regarding special moments. I remember Alison Ogren of a late 90s/early 2000 Christian rock band named Clear sitting on the basement steps of my townhouse petting my cat and crying because she’d found out her kitty at home had died earlier that morning. I remember many Christian rock bands crashing at my place when they came through town so they could save the cost of a hotel room and have a home cooked meal. I was blessed to be able to bless them. There are also plenty of stories that I can’t tell in this blog and keep it PG-13. As I have to remind some people who know me now, I wasn’t always a Christian and had a lot of years to work on my testimony.

As I was thinking over all of it, two radio memories stick with me and will likely be the ones I remember when I’m twenty more years down the road. One involves my life before I came to Christ and the other afterward but both I think are great stories.

The first happened in the early 90s. I was working at WSHP and drove to Nashville to attend the Country Radio Seminar. Basically, it’s a four day party for country radio DJs and artists weakly disguised as a conference intended to help DJs learn how to be better at what they do. (In reality, it’s just parties, concerts and lots of sucking up.) WSHP wasn’t a mover and shaker in the big radio world so I didn’t have the invites to the big parties nor was I getting any special treatment. I didn’t get to hang out with Brooks & Dunn or Shania Twain.

There was an event called the Artist Taping Session where they would herd in a bunch of country performers and they would sit there for hours recording lines for stations that you’ve probably heard many times. (”Hi, this is Kix Brooks and you’re listening to country’s best KTTS” for example.) I had been able to get several artists who didn’t even have enough hits to qualify for Branson when I noticed a guy sitting all alone in his record company’s row. When I say alone, I mean all alone. No stations were coming over for him to record anything. No record label people were there with him. He was sitting there all by himself with a bit of a dejected look on his face.

I happened to know who his father was and I sat down and just struck up conversation with him on that topic. I came to find out that he’d partied a few times at my college in Pennsylvania and we ended up talking for the better part of an hour. Yeah, I knew I should have been getting all these great “liners” recorded but I really enjoyed just talking to this guy. Another radio guy finally came over after an hour and I moved on to doing my job that day.

Later that night I was walking through the hallways of the Opryland Hotel trying to sneak into the private VIP parties because I wasn’t considered a VIP by any of the record labels. As I was walking past one of the record label’s big suites I felt a hand grab my shoulder. It was this artist I’d spent time talking to earlier in the day. He said that he was pretty much being ignored by everyone and he & his guitarist were going out for a beer and he wanted to know if I wanted to go with them. So, we did and had a great time. At the end of the night, I had bought the last round and this guy owed one more. He said he’d make sure to get me next year and I said I’d hold him to it.

Well, a lot changed for this guy over the next year. He released “Indian Outlaw” and “Don’t Take The Girl” and Tim McGraw couldn’t go anywhere without someone wanting his attention. I went to the Country Radio Seminar that following year just hoping that I’d be able to get a recording from him at the taping session. On the opening night of the “conference” I was in a giant ballroom at the Opryland where all the artists, radio folks and record label executives would mingle and drink. I was talking to some of the guys from the very underrated country band The Mavericks when someone grabbed me and turned me around. Standing there was Tim McGraw with a Budweiser in his hand for me. He said “Bet you thought I’d forget I owed you one.” We didn’t get to talk much that night and I haven’t had a conversation with him since but it’s still a memory I can’t forget.

The second memory I can’t forget involves the Christian rock band that God used to draw me to Him. They’re a Minnesota band called PFR. They were a three piece band that played rock with Beatlesque harmonies. I discovered them one morning at 3am and to give you background please indulge a bit of my testimony.

I was dating a girl at the time who was a Christian. She kept trying to get me to listen to Christian music because she said the music I listened to (Metallica, Megadeth, Def Leppard, Ratt, etc.) wasn’t good for me. Her response was to try and get me to listen to Sandi Patty or Cindy Morgan (which, if you don’t know those artists, it would be like getting a heavy metal fan to listen to Britney Spears.) I resisted listening to that music (as you might expect) and generally had the opinion that Christians and Christian music sucked like a nuclear-powered Hoover.

One Sunday morning at 2am the cable company in Gallup, New Mexico decided to play Christian music videos (because after all good Christian kids are awake and watching videos at that time.) The “Z Music Top 10 Countdown” was coming on and I decided to put off going to bed to watch the countdown. My thinking was if I could chop down the best Christian music had to offer I could get my girlfriend off my back. The first nine videos went by with the only positive thing I had to say was that Rebecca St. James was hot. All of the videos were “peppy happy Christian” videos with people smiling and dancing around like everything was peachy. My life wasn’t in that place and I didn’t know anyone else who was so they all just seemed fake to me.

Then a video started rolling with a girl in the woods at night. There was splashes of red and black and white and some legitimate sounding rock music. I can still remember halfway through the video saying out loud “this doesn’t suck.” I remembered the name of the band, told my girlfriend and by the end of the day she had put PFR’s “Great Lengths” tape in my truck containing the song that touched me called “Wonder Why.” I listened to them a lot and bought all their tapes. Then, owing to my luck, the band broke up right after I discovered them so I was never able to see them live. Still, the music kept touching me and a few months later I accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior.

Fast forward a few years to April 1997. I had been trying to get into Christian radio for two years when I landed a gig doing nights at WNCB in Duluth, Minnesota. I arrived there on the first day of their fundraising “Sharathon.” (Basically, you beg listeners to donate money to keep the station running.) As I sat in the studio for my first shift, the program director Brett said on the air “Hey, you were saved because of the music we play. Tell everyone your story.” So I shared everything I’ve just shared with you although there was more detail! When I finished my story the phones lit up and I felt pretty good that I had touched a few hearts.

A minute later, one of the staff popped their head in the studio door and said “Joel Hanson is on line one for you.” (Joel Hanson was the lead singer of PFR.) I laughed in disbelief and just went back to prepping for my next break when Brett opened the studio door and said “Dude, Joel Hanson’s on the phone.” I said something about how it wasn’t funny to tease the new guy and Brett looked at me with a very serious look and said “No, really, Joel Hanson is on line one.” So I picked up the phone expecting it to be someone pulling a joke but there was no mistaking the voice. I was pretty much speechless.

Joel had been working with his church in Brainerd, Minnesota after PFR split up. He was working in his office picking songs for the upcoming Sunday’s service when he heard me talking about PFR and their impact upon me. Joel told me my testimony was the first time he’d heard someone say their music was the catalyst God used to draw someone to Him. It touched him, it touched me and we ended up chatting quite a bit. Now, this would have been cool in itself but the story ends on a much better note.

I had never seen them play live and I always said little one-off prayers to God like “come on, Big Guy. Just one reunion show. That’s all I’m asking…”

A few months after I had settled in at WNCB Joel called one night to ask if he could go on the air to promote an event they had coming up. We’d done it before so I said sure and we went on the air. I asked Joel what the event was and he says “PFR is going to reunite for a fundraising concert and Jason, I wanted to know if you wanted to host the event.” It was one of the few times when I was live on the air that I was speechless. That night introducing that show has to be one of the best moments of my life. I sat in the front row in reserved seats just crying my eyes out the whole show. The autographed photo they gave me afterward where Joel wrote it was an honor to know me is one of the few pieces of memorabilia from my radio career I’ve kept and value.

So, tomorrow that chapter closes and a new one begins. I’m excited for the future and I know there are great things still to come in my life but I’m still feeling a little down and a little melancholy for the fact twenty years of my life are about to end and the trip wasn’t anything like I had planned it to be. I know beyond a doubt it’s prepared me for the future and it’s made me a better person than I was twenty years ago so I’m grateful for that. Still, it’s hard to watch it all end (if that makes any sense.)

I apparently stirred up some bad feelings with a comment I posted on the News-Leader’s message boards that the Heer’s Tower wasn’t the “crown jewel of Springfield.” Some long time residents and business owners felt that it was a mischaracterization the tower and the project that is being planned to help revitalize the downtown square area. I can only come at this from the perspective of someone who’s moved here in the last few years and doesn’t have any kind of emotional tie to the old Heer’s tower or the downtown square. I come at this with the perspective of someone who’s focused toward the next fifty years of Springfield since this is my home versus the last fifty that happened before I moved to town.

It’s not that I discount the history of the square or town or the tower. Far from it! I have great respect for the way the city has developed and I’ve learned a lot about how Springfield came to be where we are right now. Obviously the Heer’s tower has meant a lot to many and at one point was the crown jewel of downtown. However, since I’ve been around all it’s been is a run down building. I’ve volunteered with a ministry that was based right behind the Heer’s Tower and witnessed everything from drug dealing to a stabbing happen on the sidewalks in front of the Heer’s tower. I wish I could see it as the crown jewel that many want to say it is but all I’ve seen are examples of the problems Springfield is working so hard to solve.

A reporter for the News-Leader talked to me today (nice guy) and asked me about this. What I told him was that I think the heart of downtown isn’t the square but it’s close to the square. I’d say if we wanted to look at the heart of downtown we should look at the corridor that starts at the new theatre of the Skinny Improv and runs to the renovated Gillioz Theatre. Then it goes to the very underrated Discovery Center. (Talk about a crown jewel for educating our kids!) Then it’s the Shrine Mosque, the Expo Center and then Hammons Tower and Hammons Field. In the eyes of this two year resident of the city, that’s the heart of downtown Springfield. The square, while close to the starting point, isn’t in the picture.

Now, perhaps putting the hotel (or condos) in the Heer’s Tower would expand that corridor to include the square in the mix. I know I’d be certainly in favor of that happening because the revitalization of the square is just as important as continued economic development throughout the city. I don’t see where the steakhouse and hotel combo will really benefit the average Springfieldian but at this point I’m going to be optimistic that what I heard last night at the council meeting wasn’t just rhetoric. The developer seemed sincere in his desire to see the square be a benefit to the city and not just a project to put money in his pocket. I’m open to giving him the benefit of the doubt.

I’m just not going to give the “crown jewel” status to the Heer’s Tower until I see the finished project and what it really brings to the city. Regardless of how you feel about him, Mr. John Q. Hammons has brought some real crown jewels to the downtown part of the city and this new project has a high bar to reach to take away the crown jewel crown.

Tonight, I attended my very first Springfield City Council meeting. It was a very interesting, very eye-opening experience. I met some interesting people (although none of the council members) and came away with distinct first impressions. I apologize if this post is long and a bit scattered but I wanted to try and cover as much of my experience as possible. I walked into the back as the meeting began, pulled my Philadelphia Phillies cap low and spent almost two and a half hours at the meeting. After all that time, they were only halfway through the agenda. I decided to leave after the vote on the Heer’s tower (which passed unanimously.)

Let’s start with the council members themselves and then I’ll address a few issues that were covered and voted upon by the council.

Great first impression: Cindy Rushefsky, Doug Burlison, Dan Chiles

The first thought I had about both Cindy Rushefsky and Doug Burlison is that “these guys really give a darn about the little guy.” They both seemed to respond to the comments from the citizens and asked questions that related to those comments. When I had a question come to my mind about an issue, one of these two asked about it. My only negative thought on either was that Burlison became very quiet after Mayor Carlson lashed out at him unfairly. (I’ll touch on that later.) As for Dan Chiles, he impressed me both in his ability to ask pointed questions to clarify fine points and his apparent openness. He admitted that he had a change of heart on a policy over time and he also admitted a potential conflict of interest regarding the Heer’s tower when he was not obligated to do so. I like openness in public officials and my first impression of Dan Chiles is that I can expect that from him.

Good first impression: Mary Collette

Although I disagreed with the way she characterized the situation the city was in regarding the Heer’s tower, I was impressed by the way she praised the work of city staff and others in regards to issues that came in front of the council. So many times the people who work for the city and get the ducks in a row for these meetings do not receive praise for their work. They face days where people complain about all kinds of things and most of the time they’ll hear the gripes and none of the glory. The fact she made a point to give credit and recognition to some people who do the hard leg work scored points with me.

Neutral first impression: Denny Whayne, John Wylie

John Wylie left me in a quandry because he asked some good questions on some issues but seemed obstructionist toward small business owners at other times. He really rubbed me the wrong way regarding Council Bill 2007-251 when he seemed to be placing the desire to hold onto old policy than doing something that would be a boost to a local neighborhood. It wasn’t enough for me to develop a negative view on him but it did leave me leery of his positions on things. I wonder where his position really falls when it comes to helping our small business owners.

I really didn’t see or hear much from Mr. Whayne to develop a good feel for him. He did make some outstanding comments regarding Council Bill 2007-251 and it made me believe that he’s really interested in revitalization of the north side of Springfield. When he started making comments during the Heer’s debate about St. Louis street in 1975, I found myself tuning him out. If the real Denny Whayne is more like the first guy…about the reviving the north side…I’ll probably like him. If he’s all about the past, he’ll fall into the camp with the next group…

Weak first impression: Ralph Manley, Gary Deaver

Ralph Manley seems like a really decent old guy. He reminds me of a guy I knew when I was a teenager. His name was Dale Starry and he was a songwriter who spent time in Nashville during the Roy Acuff days. He would always talk about the old times and how much better things were then. I remember as Dale was dying from bone cancer how it would lift his spirits just to have me sit there while he shared the stories of his life. I know I won’t forget the look on his face when I’d show up because toward the end no one came around to visit him. Ralph Manley struck me as the same kind of guy as Dale. Good intentions, stories about the past that leave you in awe but focused more on the past than the present. It might be the fact he was very animated about the Heer’s Tower having been the “crown jewel of Springfield and it could be again.” I remember thinking to myself that I want someone focused on the future and not the past representing me.

As for Gary Deaver, he seemed to be trying to hard to make a good impression on the people there. For example, he made a point to bring up how a city department has used small amounts of money to raise even more to improve city greenways and other developments. It’s fine to bring that up but the way he did it left me with the impression he was trying to score points with the voters present any way he could do it. When Council Bill 2007-275 was tabled for 180 days he seemed to almost take it personally.

Bad first impression: Mayor Tom Carlson

I really hate to list the Mayor like this because I know he’s been under fire lately from some corners of the media and political spectrum. I walked into the council chambers without a preconceived notion of the man but was taken aback when he launched into Councilman Doug Burlison just for asking for solid clarification on the storage containers issue. It came off to me as rather arrogant and condescending. It certainly wasn’t something that I expected to see at a council meeting. Later in the council meeting he again made personal comments regarding a slight from talk show host Vincent David Jericho. It wasn’t necessarily that he made the comments but how strongly he kept defending himself. I was thinking “Dude, you’re the Mayor. Just rise above it.”  I don’t have a problem with you defending yourself but it seemed you were trying to exact your pound of flesh instead of just correcting the record.

In his defense, he seemed to not be feeling well. He kept rubbing his eyes and seemed distracted. It’s possible he had a headache or dinner didn’t sit well with him.

Obviously I know first impressions can be wrong. I plan to attend some more council meetings to be a more informed citizen and to get better, deeper impressions of our city council.

Now, on to council actions…

I was happy to see the container ordinance (Council Bill 2007-275) was tabled for further research. I was disheartened to hear the Mayor dismiss opposition to the plan as people being mislead by a “misunderstanding.” I read the bill and thought it was a bad thing for the city. Was there something within the bill that was misinforming me? I saw it as something that was damaging to the businesses of our area and while I appreciate the health and safety issue behind the bill I can’t support the bill itself.

Councilman Chiles made the suggestion that Council members make themselves available to local groups that want to have hearings on the matter. Chiles thought the views of the Council members and their ability to answer questions would be good for maintaining communication with the taxpayers of the community. Dan Chiles is quite right about that.

The Mayor jumped in about how the Council needs to “make decisions as a group” and that if “if you work on a committee…then you vote on it…your objectivity could be questioned.” He then said “what does that say to the community?”

Well, Mr. Mayor, to this member of the community it says that as a Council member you care what the people who elected you to office think about the issues of the day. That you believe they are smart enough to provide quality input and that by being there when they’re meeting you can help provide valuable information that would make a more informed, more involved electorate. Mr. Mayor, you said “so much of what we do depends on the public’s trust.” When you do things in secret, when you don’t get involved with us as we seek to be involved with you then it destroys levels of trust. If I was part of a group that wanted to make a difference on the container issue or any other and we had a meeting where you showed up to answer questions and provide valuable information I know that I would look positively on you. What’s wrong with our Council members being involved with citizens?

I was disappointed that the proposal to sell the Heer’s tower passed because as Dr. John Lilly said during public comments “it’s not a good deal but it’s the only one you have.” Kevin McGowan, the developer of the project, made some comments about how this deal wasn’t as good as he’s received in other cities and he was going to do this deal because of the relationships he had built with some city employees. The speakers and some members of the Council kept talking about how this would be “good for all citizens.” I don’t see where this is going to be good for the average Springfieldian but I’m hoping that I will be proven wrong. They would be bringing in a steakhouse that will be more expensive than the average Springfield citizen can afford and a hotel or condos that won’t mean much to the people who live here. I don’t see where the average Springfield citizen will benefit from this beyond extra tax revenue. Of course, we don’t know where that tax revenue will end up.

The thing that made me happiest was watching a slim majority of the Council stand up for a small business owner who is going to be making a contribution to beautify and boost a north side neighborhood. Council Bill 2007-251 passed 5-4 with Whayne, Collette, Rushefsky, Chiles and Burlison voting in favor of the measure. It’s going to re-zone a section of North Broadway to allow a tea room inside what had been a run down old house. It’s something that can really be a boost to a community and I’m glad to see that the little guy can get a fair shake in the Council chambers.

It wasn’t without drama. The city staff was against the proposal and put all kinds of restrictions on this business. They won’t be allowed to be open after 6pm even for special events. (I guess they need to protect the community from horrible, civic-destroying gatherings like Bible studies, women’s groups or bridal showers.) Even with those restrictions, Manley and Deaver kept bring up the “what if they go out of business and someone else comes in” argument. As someone just sitting there it seemed they wanted to vote no and were just searching for any reason to do it. Wylie was against it because he’s against all forms of “spot zoning” and I can see his view. (I disagree but I can see it.) Mayor Carlson disappointed me by saying he could see the benefit to the neighborhood and was still voting no because instead of putting the tea house up first they rebuilt then home and then wanted the tea house.

I don’t know the woman behind the tea house (Susan Procter) but I was very happy when the proposal passed despite the city staff’s recommendation for denial. I don’t know if the tea room is going to make it but I know that I’m glad they were given a shot to make it. We need to be encouraging small businesses like this which develop a neighborhood’s character instead of throwing road blocks into their path. It leaves the impression we’re not in favor of the small business owner and that’s the last impression Springfield needs to be leaving on anyone. Councilwoman Collette said this could end up being like the area of Cherry & Pickwick and I agree with her. This could be a very good thing for this north side neighborhood and I was glad to see Mr. Whayne speak so strongly for it. When the vote was about to be taken, the only Council member who hadn’t spoken either way was Doug Burlison…so I knew it would pass. I just knew in my heart Burlison was for the little guy.

Ms. Procter, I don’t know when you plan to open but please let me know. My fiancee and I will come and have lunch in your establishment.

Oh, I’m also glad the proposal for the three million dollar construction project for the Springfield Art Museum went through without a hitch. There’s no taxpayer dollars for the project and a ton of red tape was cut through tonight.

There’s my impressions of my first City Council meeting. I hope that over the next few months I can get to sit down and meet with City Council members to find out how accurate I was with my first impressions. (I know that will be hard to do but I’m going to make the effort.) I hope that Council members would be willing to come out and support the Walk Now For Autism event on September 8th…it would be nice to see our city leaders there to show support to our citizens facing autism every day. (If someone’s reading this at City Hall, yes, that’s a hint…)

Yesterday my fiancee and I were out with our children and my autistic son Elijah began to act up.  It’s a common thing with autistic children to make noises or to get a little hard to control.  It’s not that they’re that much different than other children in that sense but since they don’t have the same cognitive abilities as other children or adequate communication skills it’s hard to know what’s wrong with them or how to get through to them to get them to calm down.  If you are someone who is unfamiliar with children who have special needs, you’ll likely just think that someone is a bad parent or doesn’t know how to control their children.  Instead of showing some grace or courtesy to those parents, you’ll likely throw scorn in their direction.

Now, you’re probably saying “I’d never do that.”  If you truly would not, then I say God bless you.  However, speaking from experience, I know that it’s more often the exception rather than the rule.  If I’ve had a dime for the number of times I’ve had to deal with people looking at us or making derogatory comments because of Elijah having an outburst I’d be able to buy the Springfield Cardinals.  In almost all of the cases, when the people find out my son is autistic they’ll apologize or they’ll at least be accommodating to our situation.   (They probably think to  themselves they’re happy they don’t have to deal with it.)  However, there are some times that the people who discover the child has a special need not only don’t care but continue to speak insults and derogatory statements.  It’s enough that when the parent of a special needs child faces someone making a negative comment you instantly go on the defensive for your child and really have to fight to not lash out at the person for their comments.

As an example, I want tor relay something to you that happened to my family about a year ago.   My parents had come to Missouri from Pennsylvania for their first visit in over four years.  It was the first time they had been able to meet Elijah in person and we had a great week together.  Dale and Eli loved spending time with Grandma and “Papa Jim” and we did every enjoyable thing that Dale suggested we do.  Dad and I were even able to go play a round of golf and even though I’d practiced over the years and had really improved my game the wily old man still beat me.  (My dad would always tell me that the difference was that I wanted to win…he HAD to win.)   It was a great week…that ended really awkwardly.

We decided to go to Outback Steakhouse for our last dinner.  We waited outside for about half an hour for a table which is standard for Outback on a Saturday night.  When we were seated, we played our drink orders and dinner orders within ten minutes of each other.  Then we waited.  And waited.   Our drinks finally showed up at our table over twenty minutes after we ordered.  After almost an hour we still hadn’t received our meals.  (When we did get them, they were cold…but that’s not the shocking part of the story.)

After about forty-five minutes Eli was really acting up because he was hungry.  He wasn’t really doing anything that children ordinarily don’t do when they’re hungry but he wouldn’t stop talking and making noises.  We had him coloring, we had him playing games and we did all we could to keep him as quiet as possible.  My father went to the tables around us and apologized and explained that Eli was autistic.  The response from most of the tables was fairly positive and understanding.  The trouble began when my father sat down at the table and started talking to my mother.

The table beside us…the one behind my back…had a family sitting there.   It was a man and woman and two children.  The teenage daughter walked in wearing an iPod and didn’t take it off during the entire meal.  The teenage son was sitting there just staring forward not talking.  The woman did most of the talking to the husband.  I thought it was kind of odd the family didn’t talk during their meal to each other but I was more concerned with keeping Eli quiet and happy.  As my father was sitting back in our booth, the woman said to the man across from her:

“If I had a retard for a kid I’d never let it out of the house.”

I’m glad my dad didn’t hear it because he would have come over the table at that woman.  As the situation was, it took everything within me to not make a scene.  My first instinct was to turn around and rip into this woman but I thank God He’s really worked on me in that area!  I just instead kissed Eli on the forehead and tried to keep him as quiet as possible.  Some food finally showed up and we gave to Eli just to keep him happy.

You would think this would be the end of the story but there was more.  A few minutes after her initial comment, the waiter handling the table of this family came over and asked if everything was OK.

“Except for the retard at the next table bothering us things are fine,” the woman said to him.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with that,” the waiter said.  “Can I do anything to fix that for you?”

The woman said no but the point was she had gotten a second shot in on my child.  I gave the waiter the benefit of the doubt that he didn’t really hear what she said and just made the reaction he always made if someone complains about something.  (It was instant on his part so I really believe the kid didn’t have time to process it.)  I was livid but I thought we’d just eat our meals and get out of there.  Even though I knew it wasn’t Outback’s fault the woman was so rude I had fully intended never to go back again.  (The fact the food was cold and the service incredibly slow were factors as well.)

Now, let me digress for a second to tell you what happened when I sent an e-mail to Outback about this situation.  Within half an hour of sending that e-mail, a vice president for Outback corporation e-mailed me with an apology and gave me his personal cell phone number.  They were just as offended as I was at the actions of the woman and we even spent the entire phone call talking without even mentioning the poor service I had received that night.  The district manager called me and Angela, the local franchise owner, called as well.   Angela asked me to come back and to bring the boys with me.  She said that if I was in the restaurant and had someone say something else similar to me or Elijah that I was to tell the manager and they would remove that person from their business.  She said they didn’t need that person’s business bad enough to let them degrade a child like Eli.  They were professional and they were also human in their response.  I am a fan of Outback Steakhouse (although they’re not cheap so I don’t eat there much!)

Anyway, sorry for the digression but I wanted to give positive props to Outback for their response!

The point is that the parents of special needs children hear these kinds of statements all the time.  We see the snide looks from people when we’re walking at the zoo.  Also, for every business that knows how to deal with special needs children like the Discovery Center (who have been brilliant with my son) you have other restaurants and businesses that either don’t know how to handle special needs children or don’t want to deal with them.  It can make an already difficult situation even more difficult.

So please, when you see someone out with children (or many times in my case, a single parent with two children) fight your first instinct when a child is acting up.  It could be someone with a special needs child who is doing the best they can with the circumstances they have been facing.

And by the way, on a side note, Elijah has been treated with all natural medications and no toxic drugs.  This means insurance covers none of it.  His medication alone is over $6,000 a year and there’s no Michael Moore in the background wanting to tell the story of autistic children’s families.  If you’d like to see more of the struggles families all over the Ozarks face each day, visit Autism Speaks.   Also, I’d ask you to please consider walking with us or making a donation for Walk Now For Autism in Springfield Saturday September 8th.  My personal web page for that is available by clicking here.  (Also, if you are a media member and you would be gracious enough to provide some coverage for the Walk, please contact me and I’ll help you all I can help.)

OK…Larry Litle at Simple Thoughts of a Complex Mind posted some 80s videos. Larry, man, come on. Pick some decent 80s stuff!!!

Here is my video rebuttal of his post:

The city of Springfield is pushing to sell the Heer’s tower to the lone developer still in the mix.   The agreement calls for the city to sell the building for three million dollars and to provide a host of incentives to the developer.  The city is trying to position this as a great deal but if you look at the actual contract you’ll see this is an act of desperation on the part of the city government.

First, the deal calls for the developer to request half of the two percent hotel/motel tax that is dedicated to the Convention and Visitor’s Bureau.   The city also says in the agreement that it will not “actively oppose or take action against the developer in making this request.”  It says nothing about the city taking action against the Convention and Visitor’s Bureau if they don’t make the decision to give the money to the Heer’s developer.  I don’t believe for a second there won’t be pressure brought to bear on the CVB to approve the cutting of their funding.

The CVB probably can’t afford it and they’ll probably say no but it’s beside the point.  We elect the members of the city council to make these kinds of decisions and no t the CVB.  If the city wants to offer something like this then they need to step up, vote on it and tell the CVB they’re up the creek.  Doing it this way only allows the members of the city council an opportunity to avoid something that could haunt them at election time.  It’s time for our council members to do their jobs and make a decision on the whole issue and not just parts of it.    The way the deal is right now it could leave the council in a position where they can’t do anything to stop the developer if they don’t agree with some of his actions.  Is that really what we want from our city officials?

The city would also be required to make over a million dollars of improvements to the square in front of the Heer’s tower.  It’s not an option…it’s a requirement.   If the city doesn’t come through with the improvements…with the developer of the Heer’s tower involved in that process…then the developer can exercise an option to make the city buy back the tower for what the developer paid PLUS direct and indirect developer costs PLUS an up to 15% markup on the deal.  So if the city decides to do something else with the square or the improvements are delayed we could end up buying back the tower plus interest.  Where do you think the money for that is going to come?  Higher taxes for you and me.

While I’m in favor of developing downtown and getting something into that tower this is not the deal for accomplishing that goal.  It’s time for the city to open things back up and try to get some other developers into the mix with better ideas.  Yes, I realize the city is having to pay interest on the loan that was taken by the previously failed developer of the tower.  That doesn’t mean we need to rush into a deal that’s just as bad for the city and ultimately for the pocketbooks of every city taxpayer.

Monday night the city council will be considering this deal.  They will have their second reading and vote on it.  If you feel like I do that this is not the way we need our city officials to…especially on the cop-out regarding CVB funding…then you need to show up at the city council’s meeting and make your voice heard loud and clear.  Take some time to read the proposed deal as I’ve done and reach your own conclusions.  I agree with councilman Ralph Manley’s statement in the Springfield News-Leader…”I don’t want to give away the store to get it done.”

I was scanning the News-Leader’s web page today and found a few interesting issues on Brian Lewis’ blog regarding two videos about the war in Iraq and contacting our representatives on the issue.

The first video featured a veteran of the war who lost limbs in service to our country. As I saw the video, I had two impressions. First, if you have this guy who gave more than most of us ever will for our freedom wants to ask people to support the war then good for him. He certainly has a stronger perspective on what’s going on there than most people. Secondly, there was no reason for them to include 9/11 footage because it wasn’t Al-Queda in Iraq that we’ve been fighting. Clearly that was misleading although if you want to say that the video represents “terrorists” in general then I would say it’s at least a tenuous connection. (Of course, most of us know that wasn’t the intent of the video.)

In the second video, they had an anti-Iraq group talking about another group that ran a commercial asking people to call their representatives. When this anti-Iraq group called the number from the first video, they recorded themselves saying they didn’t agree with the first group’s position. The woman on the phone then said they only transferred calls from the people who supported the war. The graphics on the screen said “They call that freedom?” I had a laugh because yes, it is! This group has the right to pay for the phone line, pay for the staff to man it (or organize the volunteers) and therefore they have the freedom to decide who gets forwarded from their phone line and who doesn’t get forwarded! It’s pretty arrogant for this second group to say that freedom should be defined by the first group paying to let them use their phone line to deliver a message counter to their message.

Brian Lewis made the comment this was another example of sliding into partisanship and deception. I don’t disagree.

I’ve read columns in the News-Leader for a while and have enjoyed the give and take of the “From the Right” & “From The Left” columns.  I have to admit I’ve agreed a lot more with the “From The Right” column but I agree a lot with Mr. Roger Ray’s positions in “From The Left” about our taking care of the poor and needy in our community.  However, I saw something in his most recent column that seemed to jump off the page and put into sharp relief the issues that seem to cause divisions in rational discussion.  I have to give Mr. Ray credit for apparently not pulling punches about his biases and opinions but being open about those biases are going to take people who are on the opposite side of the spectrum away from the table.

As I was reading his most recent column, he made this statement: “That is not to diminish the fundamental importance of, say, a woman’s right to govern her own reproductive life, or a gay person’s right to, well, just be. Civil rights, justice, mercy, compassion are all extremely important and the debate must continue with those who would continue to raise the walls of prejudice and discrimination…”  What does that say to someone who, for example, believes the Bible clearly says homosexuality is a sin?  It says to them that Roger Ray believes you’re an advocate of prejudice and discrimination.   That doesn’t necessarily put someone in a mood to have civil discussion with him because they’ll feel that from the very beginning they’re going to be written off as a bigot or racist or worse.

Now, I don’t know Roger Ray.  Is it fair to say that he feels that way about someone who disagrees with his points of view on things like abortion and gay marriage?  I would say no because I haven’t had a face to face conversation to say for sure and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.  I’m sure he is a supporter of those two topics but does he go as far as to label people because they disagree with him?   I can’t say that.  However, in the world of political discourse that is becoming more and more limited to words in a newspaper or pixels on a screen you can’t see the nuance behind someone’s words.  Perhaps Mr. Ray is just speaking of those who are on the far extreme right that really do fall under the heading of bigot or racist or worse.  I would say that is most likely the case.  Still, when you have nothing to base your opinion of his words on beyond a newspaper column there’s no way to know for sure.

It was then I began to think about how polarized everything has become in politics and political discourse that we automatically have to ask ourselves if this person is on the extreme left or right.   Someone who is a conservative by nature…even if they’re not on the far right…will look at Mr. Ray’s comments and immediately write him off as far-left wing because of that one statement from his entire column.  People will see one little statement and immediately think the worst about someone and their views.  I’m sure someone is reading this blog (if they didn’t stop already) and are ready to slam me in the comments for an attack on Roger Ray.   It won’t matter at all that I said it’s likely he’s not on the far left in his views.  They’ll just see me taking him to task and launch right back most likely by insulting me and claiming I’m a mouthpiece for the far right.   I’m sure references to Bush and Rove and Cheney will get thrown into the mix.  The actual issue…the level of discourse and how it’s polarized us to the point we question if someone’s extreme based on little passages of their whole views…will be lost in a sea of partisan rhetoric.

Can we progress back to a place where we have a simple level of respect for each other in political discourse?  I think it’s very possible but it’s going to take a lot of work and a lot of forgiveness by those not on the far extremes.  Roger himself talked about learning how it’s more important to get along with people with whom you disagree.  He defines it as cooperation and in some cases that word would actually apply to the situation.   It just makes me wonder how much better we could make our community if we could find ways to increase cooperation AND the level of political discourse.

I was reading a ton of local blogs last night and discovered that my blog entry earlier regarding an apparent rift between my fellow broadcaster Vincent David Jericho of KSGF and Tony Messenger of the News-Leader was deeper than I realized (at least, that’s the impression I received from some local blogs.)

I started thinking about whether there was a way to bring these two men together and settle their differences. A way that peace and harmony could reign throughout our land. Then it hit me. There was only one way to settle this.

Click here to see it.  It’s not pretty.

Please vote for your choice as the winner in the comments.

I wanted to make a post to point out a few webtoons that I find amusing.  The first site has a few cartoons I enjoy… “Weebl and Bob” is the main toon, “On The Moon” is a bit of (I’m guessing) substance enhanced hilarity and then you have the outstanding “Magical Trevor”, “Mr. Stabby” and a host of other toons.   I love Foamy the Squirrel of  “Neurotically Yours.”  Then check out the “Online Piracy PSA” from the guys at Awkward Pictures.